Episode 14

NFTNIF Episode 14

Woke to a white world on the 16th – blindingly, glaringly white. Everything was white – distinctions erased by indiscriminate bleaching that fell from the sky. Along with washing out all colors, everything was softened, rounded, blurred. Old Man Winter is here – but will he stay this time? It turns out the answer is no – things started melting as soon as the sun got above the treetops.

And now it has been raining steadily if not very hard for two days. The rain falls and falls, chilly and unsympathetic, melting all the patches of snow that had been hiding in shade. All the sharpness has returned to the world, all the colors. Some colors are even more distinct now – the leaves that dot our lawn have turned darker, richer, almost purplish against the renewed green of the grass.

Our bedroom is in the basement, and the windows are set into wells. There are bubble-like shields over the window wells. Dustin pointed out that there are plants flourishing under the shields – our own little greenhouses. They all have leaves and appear quite healthy and happy – even though their counterparts exposed to the elements in the yard are all dead and brown. I am cheering them on – I hope they make it through the whole winter – it's nice to see them there and be reminded of the persistence of life given the right conditions for it.

There are almost as many dogs in this neighborhood as there were in Ocean Beach. However, the dogs here are much more territorial, aggressive, unfriendly. I think it's because we are about the only ones who walk anywhere – every one either drives or gets a ride, even for 2 blocks. There are two dogs on our corner – one of them a Cujo understudy. He lunges to the fence, wheezing and growling and barking. I have evolved a method of dealing with them, because it is SO annoying to have to walk past them barking and snapping and lunging against the fence. I walk on the far side of the street whenever I pass their house, and I never EVER look at them. After a few weeks of this, they have accepted the fact that my passage does not involve them – they don't bark at me anymore, sometimes don't even bother to get to their feet – unless I walk past with Dustin. Then it's right back to their bad, old ways – I think they sense his dislike of them, and he does not mimic my “I have nothing to do with you” behavior.

I have noticed that there are some sharp differences between living almost a mile high and living almost literally at sea level. Skin dries out and stays dry here – skin which never showed any such tendency living near the beach. Another difference -when I make CalRose rice, I have to add more water and cook it longer. More - it's much easier to get intestinal gas here than at sea level. Still more - exertion gets tiring a bit faster and takes a bit longer to recover from here than it did back in OB.

So I grew up in Detroit, and everyone knew that everyone had a gun. Then I moved to Ann Arbor, where things were different, and it has not been until I moved to Idaho Falls (well, Ammon) that I again lived in a community bristling with guns. This was forcibly brought to my attention the other day as I was standing in line at Speedy Mart. The lady in front of me was panting, puffing and her face was a deep shade of red. She told the poor cashier (who could not get away because she was working) “I am so mad at my Dad for hiding my gun, because it meant I didn't have it in my car today. He's always hiding it from me!”

“What happened?” asked the cashier, quickly ringing up the items the red-faced lady had selected.

“Some guy cut me off on the road, and I reached under my seat for the gun, and it wasn't there!” The cashier and I exchange a swift, significant glance, then red-face continues; “He is really lucky my dad hides my gun because it pissed me off so bad!” (Remember she is still flushed and breathing hard...)

“”I yelled and shook my fist at him but he just drove off. I noticed as he turned that he was a really old man.”

My mouth has a life of its own sometimes, wild and free so I cautiously ventured a remark - “Maybe he didn't see you?”

“He would have noticed if I had my gun with me!”

“Then you are spared a lifetime of regret for shooting an elderly man trying to get home” I say, thinking this will calm her down. Don't I ever get tired of being wrong?

“I wouldn't have regretted it but he would have.”

Happily, she did not even bother to turn around and look at my face, and boy am I glad I don't drive here yet, at least until I have a gun of my own so I could at least return fire if I ever run into her again.

In the absence of a job, I have settled into the role of house-husband. I beguile the tedium of my days with laundry, cooking, dishes, and some light cleaning. I pack Dustin's meals for work, tidy everything up, and wonder how billions of women across thousands of years have managed this without going stark raving mad. It's only been a couple months for me and there are no messy irrational children to clean up after and tote to games and meetings and malls. Luckily I love cooking, otherwise I would feel like I was a sideways version of the I Love Lucy Show where Fred and Ricky make an avalanche of rice and Lucy and Ethel get jobs in the candy factory. Everyone makes a comical hash of the gender role reversal. I'm sure a real house-keeper of whichever sex would find fault with my house-keeping; I don't dust, rarely vacuum and wash up only when the level of dirt becomes evident to me through my field of vision, which is centered at about arms length. Once we have a mop and bucket I will establish a regular schedule for mopping; right now it's all done by bath towels after I am done with them at the finish of my shower. Also luckily, I live with D and Glenn, neither of whom is particularly a Felix Unger clean freak. Glenn does suffer spasms of diligence which lead him to clean up too – but these seem to be getting more infrequent as he relaxes into the pastoral atmosphere of Ammon.

Our friend JM is coming to visit tomorrow – we have been counting down the weeks, then days and now hours. Can hardly wait to have him visit!!!!

Well that ends this episode of NFTNIF – stay tuned!